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As the spouse of a Soldier we all go through hundreds of different feelings daily. These feelings are amplified when they are deployed. One of my fellow bloggers Julie posted Toby Keith's video American Soldier on her blog today. Head on over and watch the video. I promise you wont be dry eyed after it either.
Back to the feelings. Like I said there are hundreds of different feelings you may feel and I promise you that they are all normal! Here is a short list of things I have heard of and felt some of them first hand. (in no particular order)
Sadness..nothing like that first day they leave to shoot this one at you.
Anger...why do they have to leave all the time?
Worry..is my loved one safe?
Fear..will there be a knock on my door anytime soon?
Happiness...hearing their voice on the phone brings it all back
Excitement...opening your mail box and seeing a letter (email works too!)
Being through so many deployments has kind of made me cold to these feelings though I do get the excitement and happiness one. I am a very independent person and know that what Daddy does is for a great cause and he loves his job. Do I hate him being gone? Yep but again I know why and accepted this when I said I DO. *Disclaimer*Now that statement was in no means a blast at anyone who feels all these feelings just stating that its the way I handle it.
Watching the video Julie posted really hit home today mainly I think because my Father In Law just taught "S" how to salute and seeing the son in the video salute as his father leaving just got me. I cannot wait for Daddy to be able to this in person or until I can catch it on video!
What are some feelings you encounter daily??
It's funny. I posted that video yesterday partly because I am kinda going through a bunch of emotions about deployment. And I feel that video just kinda sums up my life right now. I feel funny as we have about 7 months before he leaves but deployments just bring up so much, even this far out.
ReplyDeleteI tend to go through a cycle. I am at peace with things, then I get frustrated and scared. Then I get sad and angry. Then I come to accept how it is and find peace again. I will probably do this over and over until he leaves. Then go through it again once he is gone.
At the end of the day I am always proud of him and what he does for his country. But my emotions get crazy sometimes (especially being pregnant right now.)
At the end of the day I am always proud of him and what he does for his country.
ReplyDeleteI think this summed up exactly what I was trying to get across in part of my post! Thank you for saying it much more eloquently than I did. I was trying to type this while it was still fresh in my mind and that makes it hard to find the right words sometimes.
I tend to be the type to not feel anything before deployments or even after until one of the kids says something about it.
Hello! I'm your newest follower by way of Julie on Twitter. Nice to meet you! Great post. Emotions during deployment? Wow, what emotions HAVEN'T I felt? I'd say right now I'm have an overwhelmed day. It's always a surprise what the next day will bring!
ReplyDeleteThis is our third deployment, but the first of this kind. Risks are higher and the length of time is longer. I think the seperation is soemthing that I have slowly started getting used to, but the worry, fear, anger is all there; daily.
ReplyDeleteYOU WON!! You won my giveaway for delicate soles :)
ReplyDeletePLEASE e-mail me @ blaramie28@yahoo.com
with...
What color & size you want
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THANKS!
Thanks for posting about feelings. I think that in posting the honesty brings realness and healing.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote a blog post today talking about my feelings and journey with my husband's cancer.
May God bless you and your husband. I am grateful for his dedication.
Rachel